Volun-leering: Volunteering at school so you can spy on your kids.

No. 2: Could be a pencil, could be doo-doo.

Meddle schoolers: Also known as helicopter parents, or stage moms/dads. If there's a group event, these parents will be in the middle of it.

School daze: your cold-lifeless stare when your child’s calendar becomes your schedule.

Lunch fox: She sits at the cool kids' table in the cafeteria and your son stares at her. She doesn't know who he is—at all. Which side of the family do you think he takes after?

Cafearteria: Can be the scariest room at school. “where will I sit?” “what will they be serving” “do I have to drink milk?”

Lunch, lady: Brown bag bounty or cafeteria cuisine.

Abercombosis: Symptoms include frequent pre-teen trips to the mall. If left unchecked, it will cost you thousands of dollars.

Sly-pod: "Honey, you're not taking your iPod to school are you?" "No, mom..."

History: That would be summer, baby!