Gloat-book:It's the latest from Mead, it has tiny speakers, it's 85

times cooler than a Trapper Keeper, and your daughter got the very last

hot pink one in town. With matching pencil pocket. Take that, Tiffany.

School Belle: aka: the teacher's pet. She sits in the front row, has

perfect pigtails, always raises her hand first, never gets dirty, and never ever gets caught misbehaving.

USB driving: Stands for U Seem to B driving kids around...constantly!

Play-dough: all that cash you spent on new school supplies, clothes, shoes,

backpacks, and that Transformer's lunch box.

New Shoes: No, not for you, silly, for the children!

Bottom Dwellers: The kids floundering on the lower echelon of locker-dom

Mini: used to be your skirt, now it's your van.

FFD: Fab first day - as in Have a FFD, BFF!

Detention Intervention: Is your child flying down the wrong path?

Schedule a summit meeting with his teacher hasta pronto and head him off

at the pass!

Lessen Planning: Stay organized and that's exactly what you will do!

Classroom Cubby: the Bermudia Triangle of lost papers, notes, and anything

of importance from your child's teacher.

ISlac: Not the latest ipod accessory, it’s what kids will do if left to their own, er, devices.

Substitute Creature: Smells like mothballs, screams like banshee.