Giving Thanks: That cute plaid dress you bought yourself as a thank you for flawlessly whipping up that turkey dinner…for 14.

50,000: The number of people freezing at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade or the average number of calories you consume during Thanksgiving dinner.

Black Friday: A mandatory day of shopping after you have spent three days cooking—if only it didn’t attract every coupon-clipping, bargain-hunting shopper in America.

Salvation Army Brigade: Your husband, with screaming kids in tow, showing up to rescue you after battling the bargain shoppers at Macy’s at 10pm on Black Friday.

Cranberry: The new color of your heirloom white linen tablecloth becomes after Uncle Joe spills his red wine.

Thanksgiving Turkey: Your tween’s new boyfriend she insists on having over for thanksgiving dinner.

Foot & Mouth Disease: What happens when you talk to your family after you drink a bottle of wine.

Leftovers: What everyone looks forward to the day after

Thanksgiving or the people sitting at your dinner table.

Gobble Gobble: The sound coming out of your son as he slurps his dinner.

Turkey Bowl: The best cut of the turkey prepared with love for your pooch.