No Assembly Required – Code words for “make sure you have your drill, hammer, and nails ready…not to mention about four hours to spare.”

Geek Squad – The tech guys that come to your house to help you set up your new computer; leaving you $300 poorer and still not sure how to turn it on, geek.

Not Appropriate for Children Under 13 – Everything on your tween’s Christmas list.

Made in China – The only thing you won’t see under the tree or on your charge card this year.

Do not Remove This Tag – The one form of anarchy you can expect from every straight A child. It’s all the only rule they can bring themselves to break.

Ho Ho Ho — No longer in the vernacular of children over 4. Thanks so much Jerry Springer, Imus, every rap star, the 4th grader next door…

“So easy a child can do it” – But you can’t…

No Batteries Required – The only other thing you won’t see under the tree or on your charge card this year.

Fa la la leave me alone - the extent of your vocabulary as Christmas Eve approaches and you have assembled about 100 new toys, not to mention that Lego replica of Santa.

Step-by-Step Directions – a.k.a. stab-by-stab-in-the-dark for the rest of the holidaze (link to last year’s lexicon)

Easy Assembly – Yeah, for a rocket scientist, seriously, a rocket scientist.